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Forum » Chew The Fat » Corrupt-A-Wish: Retro Daze Edition
Superman
FlixtheCatJr wrote :

I wish it were Halloween already.

Congratulations, it's Halloween but the massive time shift caused you to go twenty eight days without food, or water. Rest in peace.


I wish I never caught colds.
-end quote

Wish granted. You never catch a cold ever again, but you do catch the flu multiple times a year. 

I wish I could fly like Superman or Peter Pan.
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Rick Ace Rhodes
Wish granted. Your can't the colder atmosphere at great heights and die from immediate hypothermia on your first flight.

I wish that I didn't have to deal with stupid people in my life.
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*Insert funny signature here*
Vaporman87
Rick Ace Rhodes wrote :
I wish that I didn't have to deal with stupid people in my life.
-end quote
Wish granted. You now cannot access Facebook ever again. 

I wish I could just transport myself wherever I wanted to go instead of driving.
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eddstarr
Vaporman87 wrote :
Wish granted. You now cannot access Facebook ever again. 

I wish I could just transport myself wherever I wanted to go instead of driving.
-end quote


Wish Granted!

Thanks to Comcast's "Xfinity Full-Spectrum" Teleportation System you will be able to transport yourself anywhere on Earth in an instant - as soon as you're able to get ahold of someone in Customer Service to open a transport account, (while you're on hold better fuel-up the car if you really want to get somewhere!).

Wish I had broadband internet service that can withstand a 10mph wind storm. (Thanks Comcast - you're amazing).
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FlixtheCatJr
Wish I had broadband internet service that can withstand a 10mph wind storm. (Thanks Comcast - you're amazing).



You now have the most amazing broadband internet in the world, but you can't use it because you spend every waking moment defending it from marauders and hackers trying to steal your service and and raid your home.




I wish I didn't have back acne at my age.
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"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss.
Vaporman87

Wish Granted. You now won't have back acne until one year from now, when it covers your entire body.


I wish I could fly by simply willing it

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vkimo
Wish granted, you can fly but have violated several FAA regulations and are now being probed in a bunker deep below Area 51. The codename for your file is, "Dumbo." You barely escape during a "cavity" exam and fly directly to your family, only to see that they have moved on, and replaced you with Earl, the hot rodding gas station clerk who drives the 87 iRoc Carmaro with the broken headlights. In a fit of despair you fly to Papua New Guinea where you make a living as a deity among the village folk. They feed you honey and dung beetles in exchange for you flying their children to the top of the Budu tree to collect persimmons. 

I wish I knew then, what I know now.
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NLogan
Wish granted you remember that back then you thought you might have to pee. In the now you know you have to go really bad or as the colloquialism goes, "yer back teeth are a floatin'."  Back then your subconscious mind knew it all along as your bladder was screaming to be relieved as it stretched to monstrous proportions, but you were too busy to be bothered. In the future all you can think is sadly that you should have listened and you wouldn't need a shower with warm rivulets running down your leg and an embarrassing ever widening wet spot gracing your lap. Don't worry though near future you will then know how you will feel as distant future you when your incontinence sets in with old age and it happens to you all the time. At least then you will know what you know now, the familiar stench of urine.

I wish I knew all the answers.
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Vaporman87
NLogan wrote :
I wish I knew all the answers.
-end quote
Wish granted. You now know all the answers to a single episode of Jeopardy from the late '80s.

I wish everything I did became a huge success.
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