We watched the classic Disney VHS tapes all the time. Every so often an advertisement for the Magic Kingdom would play on the television. I would pretend that the two kids were my little brother and I. As the commercial says- "there never has been a better time to make the dream come true." 

 

 

Summers passed and we never got any closer to the Magic Kingdom. In my parents' defense, life changed as well. My dad had to work multiple jobs just to put meat on the table. The original promise to my brother and I now included three other siblings as well. 

We never did go on a "dream family vacation." There were plans here and there but they always fell through. So my parents did the next best thing- we explored local theme parks.

Some of my best childhood memories were riding a new roller coaster or eating deep fried oreos for the first time. Even the times I went on the spinny rides and got sick, it was an achievement. I had faced my fears and done something cool. 

Here are some of the adventures and misadventures that we had as a family-   

Playland was one of the very first theme parks that I can remember. 

This was when our family was still growing and my little brother was too young to go on any rides with me. So instead, my riding buddy was my dad! Yep, my old man kept his belt on and acted like a big kid the whole time! 

The most famous ride at Playland is the Dragon Coaster. It's an old-fashioned wooden roller coaster. I remember even thinking at the time that it was pretty old. Unfortunately, I did not meet the height requirement to go on it but in all honesty I probably would have been too afraid to- just look at that beast!

My favorite ride at Playland were the bumper cars, although the log flume comes at a close second!

Bumper cars are usually awesome but what happened at Playland was one of best experiences at ANY theme park. Since I was too young to drive my own, my dad was the driver. He is a big man and when he sat down in the seat with me, a fiendish grin grew on his face. As soon as the light turned green he punched down on the gas like a getaway driver. 

He drove the bumper car like he stole it. While other people were getting into fender benders my dad was doing laps around the track, building up speed. Then we saw it, a lone bumper car by the edge of the track. We moved into t-bone position and just before we made impact my dad jolted himself forward which turned our bumper car into a battering ram. 

We slammed into the other car like a freight train. We hit it so hard that it tipped sideways up against the metallic wall. If it weren't for the safety harnesses, they would have fallen out of their car! Amidst the shrieks, my dad and I burst out laughing. We had done the near impossible! 

What started out as a family road trip quickly changed into something new entirely once we found ourselves having car trouble in the middle of Pennsylvania. With our car broken down, I remember waiting a whole day in the lobby of an auto repair place. Luckily, I had a trusty Gameboy Color to help pass the time. After losing two days on the road, my parents made the decision to try and salvage the rest of the trip as much as they could by doing things in Pennsylvania instead. 

Back at the hotel, we read through the brochures on local area attractions and set our sights on Hershey Park. That night I dreamed about going to the Willy Wonka land of M&M's, thrill rides, and Hershey kisses. What a fun chocolate-filled day it was going to be! 

The next morning we loaded up in our rental car and reached the empty gates of Hershey Park.

It was closed for the season!

We stared helplessly at the wonderful rides from the other side of the gate as my dad channeled his inner Clark Griswold in a profanity-filled fusillade. The aluminum wrapped Hershey kisses smiled at us from afar as our family vacation crumbled into bits of frustration and disappointment that were too hard to swallow. We had reached the end of the line.  

After much torment, we realized that all was not lost, that a bit of chocolate happiness still awaited for us. The Hershey's Chocolate World was still open. 

      

The Chocolate World gives a factory tour including an assembly line that shows how they create Hershey kisses. Candy is aplenty and you can get specialty items like giant-sized Hershey bars and all the M&M's that you could ask for. Although our family vacation had a rocky start, it had a pretty sweet ending. 

First up was the Mad Mouse-

This crazy contraption looked like a real life version of the "Mouse Trap" board game. This tiny roller coaster really scared me because I thought that it was about to break. You could hear it go "clickety-clackety" as the little cars went up and down the track. I hung on tightly as the little mouse cars took ninety-degree turns and gave us all whiplash. 

The classic American train ride.

My brother and I hopped aboard the Quassy Express for a nice and relaxing tour of the park. As we fastened our seatbelts, the train conductor reminded everyone to keep their hands and legs inside the train at all times. A couple minutes later the whistle blew and we were on our way!

The little engine that could chugged along through the outskirts of the park. The train track took us through some heavily wooded areas. My brother and I high-fived some of the low hanging big leaves from the trees around us. From the front of the train, we heard something like "Hey, stop that!" 

A handful of slow-moving minutes later, the train came to a gentle stop. As we disembarked we laughed about what had happened, my brother and I never got into trouble like that. As we headed towards our next destination we heard shouting from behind...

The train conductor was following us.

  

He was in his late teens, significantly older than we were and boy was he pi**ed. We couldn't even make out half the words he was saying but this disgruntled employee was looking for a fight. I stayed close to my younger brother as he tried to confront us. We kept walking and as we got closer to other people, the train conductor ended his pursuit. 

Luckily, my brother and I had stayed together the whole time. Had he cornered one of us it could have been bad. Lake Quassy might be a quaint New England amusement park, but for me, it was more like R.L. Stein's "Horror Land."