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Christmas: Alone & Kickin' It
"I looked up at my family, and all that I could mutter was 'Thank You'".
It was Christmas Eve; I was 14 years old at the time. I had just discovered ska music, and I had really homed in on the gaming scene around that time. The day had begun with a roaring vacuum ringing in my ears, with my mother attempting to shout over it. That was her classic way of trying to wake me up. Anyways, she was shouting at the top of her lungs:
"Blahblahblahblah blahblah blahblah 5 O' CLOCK blahblahblahblahblah".
The snow was EVERYWHERE. Some might have considered it a blizzard, I considered it heaven. So, I was feeling the Christmas joy crawl through my blood stream, and I decided that I NEEDED to do stuff today. I was getting older, and if I learned anything from my parents, it'd be that soon, I would begin to HATE Christmas, so I had to make it last. So, I wrote out a schedule for myself for that very day.
2: Comic book mayhem! (2:00)
3: Watch A Year Without Santa Claus! (2:30)
4: Invite [Mike] Over for Playing in the Snow! (3:30)
5: Hot Cocoa! (4:15)
6: Walk to Gas Station and Buy Candy (5:00)
Then I stopped dead in my tracks with a sudden realization; I ONLY HAD 'TIL 5 O' CLOCK! This was gonna RUIN the night for me! I jumped into action, and dashed up those stairs faster than The Flash, Sonic the Hedgehog, & Bruce Lee! I opened the door and peaked inside my brother's room. See, my brother was (and still is to this day) a HUGE movie buff. So, his collection was packed to the brim with films [whether or not they were good or bad was out of the question.] I saw all the VHS tapes sticking out on the shelf, and one specifically caught my eye. I hadn't watched the movie since I was 5, so I popped it in and hoped for the best. I stared in shock at the imagery that was shown on screen, and I remembered why my parents hated this movie. For the curious, that film was Gremlins.
"Upon research, I actually found the Hulk VS. Santa issue [far right]. It's really just the Rhino in a costume, which is incredibly disappointing"
"Everybody is getting their Rudolph game on and I'm just like '...Really?'"
Me: Yo, Mike!
Mike: What do you want, man?
Me: You wanna come over and go sled riding?
Mike: No, uh, COUGH COUGH, I'm very, COUGH, sick. Uh, I can't today.
Me: You sound like you're faking it.
Mike: Yeah bye dude.
[click]
I'm pretty sure Mike was just being a jerk, maybe he didn't wanna hang out, maybe his family was already over, or maybe he really WAS sick, I honestly never figured that one out. "Whatever, more time for me," I thought to myself. So, I took out my notebook paper and rescheduled the remainder of the day.
5: Hot Cocoa! (3:40)
6: Walk to Gas Station and Buy Candy (4:00)
7: Christmas Music Dance Jam! (4:30)
8: Last Minute Christmas Cards! (4:50)
"This was legitimately the best thing I could think of at the time".
"Keep in mind, Sloosh is a pretty gross sound effect".
"I looked up 'snow gas station' and this is what showed up on Google".
After one final look-over of my filmmaking masterpiece, I took the tape, wrapped it tightly, and then realized; it needed a card. With about 10 minutes left, I went on to my last item on the list.
"Keep in mind; this was CHRISTMAS".
"If I were actually giving you my heart, it'd be like Castlevania 2 where you BUY THINGS WITH HEARTS!"
"Here's our big family investment. Merry Christmas".
I took the box from my brother's hands and, without even thinking what was in the box, I just kinda tore it open. Looking back, that was probably extremely rude, but I didn't care, for what lied under the wrapping paper on that day was truly a sight to behold. I stared in awe. I looked up at my family, and all that I could mutter was "Thank you". Full of bewilderment, I then realized one thing; while the present I got was beyond amazing, the experience I created for myself on that day was something I KNEW I wouldn't ever forget. Life gave me a day to do nothing, and I sure made something out of it. However, I also saw the love that my parents had for me, going out of town to buy one of the best presents EVER. To be fair, I was relegated to my own home, but I put my heart and soul into my gifts, and I think that was enough to balance the scales on this one. Now, what WAS inside that aforementioned box? Well...
SegaFanatic Posted on Feb 21, 2015 at 03:04 PM
I honestly forgot I put them in until the other day.
Vaporman87 Posted on Feb 21, 2015 at 02:08 AM
I didn't know there were any. Now I will have to mouse over everything to find them.
SegaFanatic Posted on Feb 20, 2015 at 09:48 PM
I'm wondering if anyone here has ever found every hidden hyperlink in this article; they're mostly on pictures and certain words.
comic_book_fan Posted on Dec 04, 2014 at 03:24 AM
lobo beat down santa as well.
but he earned it in that book anyone else ever read lobo a paramilitary Christmas.
vkimo Posted on Dec 03, 2014 at 07:09 PM
Fun article with a ton of witty anecdotes!
Vaporman87 Posted on Dec 03, 2014 at 02:43 AM
Man, everybody wants a piece of Santa. Do they just hate how jolly he is? LOL
Hoju Koolander Posted on Dec 02, 2014 at 08:56 PM
Really fun ride you took us on. I loved the KISS pinball metaphor (KISS Army unite!) and the fact that reading Christmas themed comics was part of getting you in the spirit of the season puts a smile on my face. You know the Ultimate Warrior (R.I.P.) fought Santa Claus in comic book form too...it was pretty messed up.
echidna64 Posted on Dec 02, 2014 at 05:07 PM
Awesome article!!! I dig the list/quest format.
Also, the surprise Dreamcast at the end was amazing! I love that machine and the bouncing ball squiggle load up screen.
Vaporman87 Posted on Dec 02, 2014 at 04:38 PM
I love this story. I have a feeling this would make for a really entertaining Christmas movie (more so than any Home Alone movie).
Hilarious things about this:
-Chef Boyardee and Marshmallows? Ugh man! Of all the crazy things I attempted to mix together for a "treat", I can't ever envision making/eating that.
-Mike is a douche. Didn't you always hate it when you were really excited about doing something together with a friend, then when the time came they were like, "Yeah, I'm not doing that."
-You went back to "experimenting" with homemade concoctions a SECOND TIME. Seriously?
-You still hadn't let off enough steam between the walk from the gas station to home to NOT break something. Was there nothing to break on along the way... that, say, WASN'T owned by your parents? LOL
-I want to see the dance video. You know it still exists (but are too afraid to admit it).
So you got the Dreamcast. That's an awesome Christmas gift. A very underrated system, that one. Sega's last attempt at a console was actually a redeemer, in my book, for the 32X SegaCD, and gazillion other "add on" systems they had been pumping out.
Thanks for this SF! Have a Merry Christmas (but leave the cooking to the adults this year). LOL
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