I was thinking about it today. Growing up there are few feelings experienced that are so amazing and yet nerve wracking as the playground crush. I think those types of crushes usually end in high school when dating becomes a reality and you're actively with the person (If you're lucky)

I'm almost 30 now and married with children (Sound familiar?)  but I can't help but miss those days of sitting at my desk and daydreaming about so and so.

From Kindergarten on up till around 8th grade I developed about 5 major crushes. In a few of those circumstances the girl "liked" me back which was amazing, even if nothing ever came of it. So let's discuss our crushes going up and share any funny stories and what not!

Oh I have soooo many stories on this subject. But I'll try to break them up in between posts so as to not create an entire book of my pathetic school love life in one post.

I'll start with my first... a girl named Heather. This was elementary school and I was just then gaining an appreciation for girls as something other than friends. This girl had really only just started to go to our school (from who knows where) and so she was the focus of many a boy. She wasn't ALL THAT special to look at, but something about her was really appealing to me. She wore giant glasses, which in the 80's was not unusual or off-putting. But she had a very welcoming personality and was very kind to me. Even though there were other boys with a much better chance at her than I, her treatment of me made me feel like I had a shot.

When summer came and I was not able to see her at school, I was happy to find out she frequented the local swimming pool. I wanted to be there more often and thankfully my mom was okay with that. I would see her there and really only observe. She would typically be playing with friends, so I stayed away. I can even remember a rather obscure, pointless event there. Going underwater and attempting to swim by and "accidentally" touch her hand.

Unfortunately, Heather went as fast as she arrived. It seemed like she was only there a year or so before moving on to another school. I would still see her on occasion at the pool though, so she must not have went too far. But she forgot about me, and I let my crush on her go.

I, too, could probably fill a book.

I think I remember her name, but I'm just gonna keep it private as it's a little more unique than Heather. I thought she was really cool-looking. This was in maybe second grade. One of the girls said, rather loudly right in class (during group study or activity time or whatever it's called), "Soandso's not wearing underwear!"  Oh, she must have been so embarrassed. Probably told that to someone she thought was her friend. I was quite curious to say the least. But I was too shy to even talk to other boys I didn't know so never mind about girls.

My first crush was this girl from Jujuy (a northern province here) that
joined us on third grade. She was an extremely sweet girl that didn't
even care that some of the others made fun of her undeveloped accent and
was always trying to cheer me up (I was, and I'm still AM, a pretty
weak person in terms of my feelings). We were friends throughout our
whole school experience (from 3rd grade all the way to graduation) but I
was never able to confess my feelings towards her... and I think that I
will never be able to.

Once we were paired together for our
dance class (yeah, DANCE CLASS) and it was such a magical time, man! We
had fire in our feets and danced like if there was no tomorrow. It was
beautiful.

We are good friends now.

Vaporman87 wrote :


Unfortunately, Heather went as fast as she arrived. It seemed like she was only there a year or so before moving on to another school. I would still see her on occasion at the pool though, so she must not have went too far. But she forgot about me, and I let my crush on her go.
-end quote

Man, the ones that disappear are the worst! I remember I had one of my major crushes on a girl named Rachel that consumed much of my 5th grade year. She was this pale skinned brunette (My wife coincidentally fits that description and much of the girls I fell for)  and I remember I sat directly behind her in class. One time she turned around to ask me for a pencil or something. I just about melted haha

Rachel's best friend was a monster though. She was always ragging on me, much like Helga Patacki actually. I think she liked me. Anyways she told me that Rachel liked me and Rachel was shy and wanted to know if I wanted to hang out (Which at 10 years was probably eating lunch at recess together) and I instinctively thought Rachel's friend, Monica was lying to prank me. I said no or something like that. Then I saw Monica walk back over to Rachel. Rachel had this expectant face on, and Monica just mouthed the word "no"...and I was crushed. I turned her down! I still regret that.

A few years ago I was bored and went on a search to find her online, since I hadn't seen her since 5th grade graduation. I found her on Myspace. She looked a little heavy and obviously 20 years had went by so I didn't have the same reaction as I did as a kid. 


On a side note, I feel a bit silly describing girls as cute and stuff seeing as I'm referring to kids, just remember I'm retelling things through my younger self's mind

@vkimo: No fear of having To Catch A Predator called on you here.

I will be doing the same in my storytellings on the subject.

Moving on to my second big crush...

To quote The Goldbergs... "The year was nineteen eighty-something", and I was finding that a particular teenage girl who was probably 6 to 8 years my elder, was catching my eye.

Her name was Teresa, and she and her mother both worked nights at the local skating rink (which, just so happened to be located at the bottom of the hill in my neighborhood). She worked behind the counter handing out the rented skates and food items.

Me and my neighborhood buds all had our eyes on her (they were even younger than I), but a distant cousin of mine was her beau (this whole "cousin dating my crush" thing becomes a running theme in my life). It didn't matter, I still dreamt of taking his place every night.

The nice thing about Teresa was that, like Heather before her, she was happy to oblige our giddy little boy crushes with "couple skating". Yup. Almost every time we asked her, she would accept our invitation to "couple skate" (which, for those unfortunate souls who have no clue what I mean, is just a guy and girl holding hands and skating together in dim lighting while romantic music plays through the speakers). This didn't help me to see clearly the complete unlikelihood of me ever being her man.

Some of my old cassette recordings bare witness to my fascination with Teresa. I would often voice her parts and, of course, she just couldn't get enough of me. That's right. I acted out my dreams onto recordings. What? You think that's pathetic? Bite me.

As with all my crushes, I never expressed my "love" for her in words, or deeds for that matter. But I'm sure she knew she was making little boys dreams come true every Friday and Saturday night... and sometimes on Wednesdays.

As time passed, I saw less and less of Teresa working the counter. She likely graduated and went off to college somewhere. My nights at the skating rink were a bit more lonely then. I filled the void she left with more games of Galaga and Kung Fu Master while the couple skating went on. But it just wasn't the same.

And now, finally, my last major crush... and it was a doozie.

"Back in my day", our school district had no "Middle School". You went from 6th grade Elementary School to sharing the halls of the High School with Seniors. Yeah, it was a bit jarring to be so small, walking under these tree-like students as they passed from one class to the next.

Anyhow, after finally reaching the coveted title of Freshman after two years, a young lady entering the 7th grade caught my eye. And she never relinquished it. From the time I first saw her, until I graduated High School, I had a thing for Penny.

There were three problems with this:

1. She was well beyond my league. Like, WELL beyond my league.
2. I was probably the shyest kid of all time when it came to girls.
3. She didn't know I existed.

These three things made my entire High School career more miserable than it should have been. But it could not be helped... I was completely dumbstruck by her. Just to see her walk by me in the hallways made my heart skip a beat.

It was a lot of things... her long blonde hair, magical smile, and... well... you get the idea. But the thing about Penny that I couldn't get enough of, was her eyes. They had this cherubic, inviting look. Like you just wanted to dive right into them and swim forever. Of course, this is highly exaggerated, as are many things we recall about those special, childhood times. But for teenage me, she was the only woman on Earth.

When pep rallies occurred, my eyes were only on her (she was a cheerleader). When the Fair week came around each year, I spent my days there subconsciously hoping to just see her there, like a preview for the coming school year. The song "Penny Lover" by Lionel Ritchie became my theme song, and I played it often in my bedroom.

Days turned to months, months to years, and I never once spoke to her. Never. Not even a "hi". I knew in my mind it would be pointless to do so. I would only be making things worse for myself.

At some point in time, as I approached my final year or so of High School, I think she found out. My irrational exuberance for her caught up with me. I had collected newspaper clippings, drawn pictures, and who knows what else in my crazed fascination with her. And somebody whom I didn't want to know had found out and made it public.

Things changed... I felt like perhaps she might find me a bit odd and worrisome. Like maybe she would be actively avoiding being near me or even making eye contact. Of course, I don't know this to be true. But I wouldn't have blamed her.

Once, while goofing off in study hall, one of her classmates (a girl who I really didn't care much for, but occasionally made conversation with because she was at our table) asked if I wanted her to say something to Penny about it. I was very apprehensive about it, but also EXTREMELY curious as to what she might say about me. So I sheepishly made it known that I did want her to say something. The message back was just a simple, "She said she is seeing Shawn (Last Name)." I already knew this, but hey... at least isn't wasn't something like "Ewwww!!!!"

Another time, I recall being in the student counselor's office finishing some kind of exam, and realizing part way through that the voice I had been hearing speaking with the counselor in the adjacent room was, in fact, Penny. I was in a room with her and only one other person. That began freaking me out, and I had a hard time concentrating on finishing my work. Instead, I just listened in on the conversation. She was speaking with the counselor about her hopes for a career in law - as in an attorney. That's all I can remember of that (to my limited knowledge, she actually ended up as a speech pathologist).

Later on, toward the end of my High School days, she began dating my cousin (Sheesh!!! This again!). This cousin was from my mother's side, and they were all athletes, armed forces people, and generally way more popular than I would ever be. I had more of my dad's side in me.

Needless to say, this was my most intense crush. And one I never acted on. I'm glad I didn't, now. Not because I think it would have went anywhere (yeah... sure) but because I learned how to let go of some dreams when they are just not within reach. Sometimes as kids, we think we are going to capture the stars and nobody is going to stop us. But the quicker we learn that life is hard, and things don't always go our way, the easier it is to let go and follow the path we are actually on.

My path lead me to my actual soul mate, my wife. And it lead me to 3 beautiful children, and another on his way. Magical as Penny may have seemed to me, the real magic is having the life I have now. It's far more than I deserve. I love it.

Wow, interesting stuff Vapor! The newspaper clippings part was especially disturbing haha! I didn't get weird with my feelings until high school. There was this one girl named "Jessica" who consumed my soul from sophomore year until I was probably 20 (Even though I rarely saw her after graduation)

Here are some of the ways I expressed my feelings, and they are all absolutely true. 

•  Broke into school records and obtained her online school password
• Opened her locker just to see what was inside
• Bicycled by her house on a weekly basis
• Memorized her license plate number
• Codenamed her

Looking back, I don't know what got into me. My closest friends knew about my feelings and were hardly a help, and actually assisted in some of the law breaking shown above. I remember one time she actually called my house and asked for my brother! The reason I knew it was her is I had her phone number (Don't ask how I got it) memorized and saw it on the caller ID. I think I still have a picture of it on my Game Boy Camera. I think (hope) she was doing something for student council though. We talked a few times but only in class related activities. It was bad though, just seeing her would cause me to feel dizzy. Those feelings lasted well after high school. But they did subside. I remember in 2010 I was going to garage sales with my dad. Jessica's next door neighbor was having a sale...and Jessica was helping out. Now this was about 5 years after graduation, I felt a slight queasiness but that was just a trained reflex and it went away. I got out and went to the sale, Jessica wasn't in the area I was but I felt totally calm. The feelings had died at last, it was very strange not being under her spell. Looking back I should have talked to her just to pay homage to my younger self. I don't find her attractive at all anymore and my wife knows about my crush even though my wife grew up in a different state. My wife actually ran across Jessica at the bank, and she said Jessica smiled at her which I found kinda hot haha. I have plenty of stories involving those times and may elaborate later on in this thread.

In all seriousness though I took it to some pretty bizarre extremes. I know the more outgoing, confident guys in high school had crushes on girls, but just talked to the girls whereas introverts like us had to blow off steam by resulting to daydreaming and what not.

Exactly. If I had no way to express my feelings (or did not want the sting of the rejection I was certain would follow), my young self had to make up for it with stalker-like hijinks. Whether it be peering in at her from a whole classroom away, or just watching as she was forced to perform in front of me at pep rallies. I have a yearbook in which I surrounded her picture with a heart I added in ink. Seriously... what was the point of this? Who was going to see this? If only I could go back and smack myself in the head and say "Snap out of it, boy."

Bump.

C'mon I know all you guys are anti social, therefor developed unhealthy crushes. Me and Vapor can't be the only ones