I had seen this hanging on the display at our local department store on several occasions. They have a small toy section, mostly consisting of cheap or knock-off merchandise.

But for whatever reason, I just had to buy this:



Okay, so... for starters... this was priced at $1.99. Now, our local department store charges a notoriously high price for EVERY item they have. They do this for a number of good reasons. So, for not one, but TWO action figures to only cost $1.99... they had to be absolute crap. But... they looked so COOL!

Anyway, once I had cracked these babies open, I quickly discovered the reason these could be sold so cheaply.



Yes boys and girls, those are screws. 3 large, obtrusive, ugly screws. And as you may have guessed, they are holding the front half and back half of these "action figures" together. You know what that means? That means these babies have all of TWO points of articulation. Two. No, their heads don't even turn. Just the arms. They are manufactured out of a low grade plastic (similar to that which plastic easter eggs are made of). But hey, they came with some really cool ninja swords!!!



A quick gander at the back reveals... well... nothing really. This bad boy was manufactured in the bowels of China, and imported here for reasons unknown. Personally, I like to pretend that this card back is actually chock full of cool information about these characters.



Something odd though... check out the chest. Are these guys, or what? 'Cuz I can't tell from the side.



You'll notice the manufacturer couldn't be bothered to complete the "belt" on the back. But hey, that's why they make markers, right?

Speaking of funny merchandise, I've seen some wedding stuff at Wal-Mart that tickled my funny bone.

This shirt.





And this cake topper.

What? Nobody has ANY comment on my EXTREMELY creative card back??? Disappointing. >

That looks to cool to me i want one hehe...

Dutch sounds like my kinda guy! Where can I pick him up??

raptor wrote :
Dutch sounds like my kinda guy! Where can I pick him up??

Wherever generic, imported toys are sold!

Bumped.

Because... these guys deserve it.

Sewage disposal? Does that mean he knows how to flush the toilet? Or...something much grosser?

Vaporman87 wrote :

That means these babies have all of TWO points of articulation. Two. No, their heads don't even turn. Just the arms.

Do the arms turn independently?

shakin steak wrote :
Sewage disposal? Does that mean he knows how to flush the toilet? Or...something much grosser?

You sure you wanna know?

shakin steak wrote :
Do the arms turn independently?

Yes. It's a miracle of modern manufacturing for these two.

Vaporman87 wrote :




You sure you wanna know?

Of course

shakin steak wrote :
Of course

He hauls port-o-potties, cleans 'em out, re-sets them. There, you happy now?!