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Muppet Mayhem
You know Freddy, and Pinhead, Michael, and Jason. You know Chucky, and Leatherface, Jack Torrence, and Pennywise, but do you recall the most nightmarish villain of all. Statler and Waldorf muppet...OK OK so maybe not everyone was as horrified of the two wise cracking old muppets who’d jeer most episodes of the Muppet Show, but I for one was terrified by the both of them. They haunted my nightmares...literally.
To this day I still get chills when I hear them laughing. Now before you rush to their defense, I am aware my fear is irrational. I mean for as many horror movies as I consumed as a small child, never once did one get under my skin the way Waldorf and Statler did.
Freddy seemed a dapper gentleman compared to the likes of those two. Also Freddy ultimately left me alone even when I was sleeping.
Not Waldorf and Statler. No those two lurked deep in the shadowy recesses of my brain waiting for me to finally doze off, and when I did they would strike. In one dream I remember there had been a recent ice storm so trying to move was next to impossible. As I slowly inched my way forward I felt their presence behind me breathing down my neck. I tried to run, but inevitably slipped up on the ice. Seeing their window of opportunity they would strike. They would strike hard. Statler armed with a walker began to beat me unmercifully whilst Waldorf looked on and chuckled. I would eventually wake up screaming, but it did little good as I knew they were still there waiting. Waiting for me to slowly ease back into sleep so that they could strike again. For months, possibly years, they would hound me each time getting a little more violent. In one dream I remember Waldorf taking a cheap shot at me as Statler pushed me down a flight of stairs. Bloodied and disoriented I just lay there staring into their cold felt faces.
In another they snuck into my school and pantsed me during the middle of gym. For years they tormented me, but thankfully as I began to grow older the dreams became far less frequent until eventually they stopped altogether. Looking back I’m still not entirely sure what spawned them, but I am glad that as an adult I can now appreciate them for their comedic genius as opposed to fearing their wily muppet ways.
kidcoffee Posted on Sep 14, 2015 at 06:14 AM
At night a child's imagination can become a very dark place where even innocent muppets can become monsters hell bent on our gruesome demise...or at least this is what I keep telling myself. To this day I don't understand quite why my brain latched onto Waldorf and Statler in particular as opposed to Alf, Bert and Ernie,or any number of other much more horrifying creatures, but it did. Throw in a bit of the old ultra violence and my fate was sealed. I would say I am ashamed, but seeing as I did just out myself in an article I know that won't fly.
Vaporman87 Posted on Sep 14, 2015 at 05:40 AM
You know, when I first read this I thought, "C'mon... seriously?"
Then I remembered that I once had an irrational fear of Bert and Ernie. But the thing was, it was only at night... in bed. During the day, I could watch them on Sesame Street and not give it a second thought. But at night they bothered me for whatever reason. If I would think about them, I would have a hard time getting to sleep. Then I would, occasionally, see one or both of them in my dreams, and though they weren't physically assaulting me or threatening me, I wanted away from them.
So weird!!!
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