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Best Retro 80's TV Commercials
By: Hoju Koolander
For
30 years I have held on to the original VHS tapes I used to record my
favorite childhood TV shows. Everyone from Muppet Babies to The Real
Ghostbusters made the cut and luckily so did the classic commercials for
cereal, toys, theme parks and more.
I
recently started uploading these vintage TV spots to YouTube, but I
thought I would share a few of my personal favorites with my friends on
RetroDaze. So here are the best retro 80's commercials from my personal
VHS collection.
ALF Doll
Gordon
Shumway from Melmac aka ALF took prime time by storm in 1986 and
parlayed his success into cartoons, comic books and yes, a stuffed
animal. Though there was a talking version, this doll from the commercial was simply a standard
plush toy. Despite the lack of bells and whistles, he had a posse of
child TV stars to back him up and if you were a sitcom junkie like me,
you're bound to recognize these faces.
Most
notable of the crew is a very young Candace Cameron from Full House,
which would become a mainstay of 80's and 90's TV just one year later.
Next is Emily Schulman who was already playing the nosey red-headed
neighbor, Harriet on Small Wonder at this time and even went on to guest
star on an episode of ALF in 1989. Finally we have Casey Ellison who
played Allen on Punky Brewster from 1984-1988 and even voiced the same
character on the whimsical cartoon series.
The Wherehouse
Though
this one was a Southern California exclusive, I think you can all
appreciate the imagery of a classic 80's video rental store. The
Wherehouse was my mecca for home entertainment as a kid. The store was gigantic, stocking audio cassettes, compact discs and yes, a HUGE selection of VHS tapes to rent. In fact, I still have a copy of Troop Beverly
Hills (which incidentally featured Emily Schulman from the entry above)
that I got for a cool $9.95 from their USED tapes section in the early
90's. As you can see that was marked down from the original $89.95
price, what a deal!
What
I love about this commercial is the panning shot of customers wandering
the aisles to find their movie of choice. Such a throwback. Plus, one
dollar a night? That was at least 50 cents cheaper than the rates
Blockbuster video would charge for a 2 night rental. Then there was
movie critic Gene Shalit, who was a mainstay on NBC's The Today Show,
but always played to me like the mad scientist version of Leonard
Maltin.
Fruit Corners Fruit Swirl Bars
During my childhood, Fruit Corners were the kings of the fruit snack
world with brands like Fruit Roll-Ups, Fruit Wrinkles, Shark Bites,
Thunder Jets and yes, Fruit Bars. These things were amazingly packed
with flavor. Try to imagine 3 packs of fruit snacks melted down, then
formed into a granola bar shape that packed the flavor of 1,000
strawberries, blueberries or grapes. The Fruit Swirl Bar variety simply
added stripes of "Real Cream" to the mix.
OK,
I promise this is the last Troop Beverly Hills connection in this
article, but another red-headed star from that 1989 Shelley Long comedy,
Jenny Lewis, features prominently in this ad. Eventually Fruit Corners
was bought out by Betty Crocker who opted not to continue manufacturing
these delicious snack treats and I will forever hold it against that
fake corporate mascot. Blast you, Betty!
Crush "Carnival of Flavors"
Crush "Carnival of Flavors"
OK,
I'll admit it, I've only recently tasted Crush in the last few years.
We were strictly a 7-Up or occasional IBC Root Beer family growing up.
That's right, I never got to enjoy the "carnival of flavors" that
included Orange, Cherry, Grape, Strawberry, Apple and Pineapple. That
doesn't take away from the fact that this commercial features what I
assumed to be the quintessential teenage dating scenario as a
kindergartner.
I
was convinced that all my babysitters were going to carnivals with
hunky guys, riding the Ferris Wheel and throwing softballs at a dunk
tank target. What I never imagined was that said hunky guy would be the
dunk tank clown. That or he dowsed his head in Strawberry Crush and
decided to whip his hair back in a motion usually preferred by Sports
Illustrated Swimsuit cover models. I'll be honest, it weirds me out. Also, "Peel
Me A Crush" as a tag line, doesn't quite hit home does it?
Barbie & The Rockers
Barbie & The Rockers
Yes,
Barbie was a girl's toy, but rock and roll is for everyone! An obvious
attempt to give Jem & The Holograms some competition, the glamour
gal and friends combined instruments with a whole lot of hairspray and
hit the stage. There was even an animated movie, which this commercial
hypnotized me into renting. From where? The Wherehouse! (Gotta love a callback.)
This
theme song is so catchy, I've literally had it in my head for 30 years.
The lyrics also give you a little origin of the group, as a glittery
mulleted Ken recounts, "When Barbie asked me to join the band. I said,
That's cool." and the rest is history. It's like it was written by the 8
year old girls who would be bringing the backstage drama to life.
Universal Studios Hollywood
Universal Studios Hollywood
Though I told the tale of my 1992 visit to Universal Studios Hollywood in a previous article here,
this commercial from 1987 captures some amazing attractions that were a
big reason I wanted to go in the first place. The laser eyes of the serpent in the Conan The
Barbarian show always got me pumped and I never knew that they had a
Photon Laser Gallery at the park during the height of that craze (which I
covered here).
The
big event here is the Miami Vice Live stunt show, which is no surprise
given the popularity of Crockett and Tubbs on TV at the time. You'll recognize the
big influence the show had on fashion of the era, but the 2 kids playing
the heroes should be familiar as well. Tubbs is being portrayed by
Paul C. Scott who played Jamie's buddy, Reggie on Small Wonder, while
the kid dressed as Crockett is none other than Brian Austin Green. Yes,
THAT Brian Austin Green from 90's super hit Beverly Hills, 90210.
Bubble Yum
Bubble Yum
If
you wanted to see the influence that MTV had on advertising in the mid
80's, this Bubble Yum commercial was a clear example. It looks just like
a music video by The Cars with all the colorful 2-D backgrounds and
random objects floating by in the foreground. For some reason this
"Magic Taxi" makes me think of the Neutrinos from Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles, cruising around in their flying Corvette.
Confession
time, I hate bubble gum. I was glad when I heard that Rowdy Roddy Piper
was all out of it in They Live, because blowing bubbles grosses me out
and makes me gag. That being said, I feel like bubble gum was such
signature imagery for teenagers in 80's pop culture that I can't dismiss the
concept entirely. I always imagined every cute girl I saw from 1986-1988 had a pack of
Bubble Yum in her purse. Still, why couldn't pretzel sticks have been
the choice of a new generation?
Juicy Fruit
Juicy Fruit
Now
chewing gum, that I can get behind, especially when the theme song is
so catchy. Juicy Fruit was never my gum of choice (I usually just stole
my sister's cinnamon Dentyne) but that jingle is another 80's ear worm
that never left my mental playlist. Add to that the imagery of hip
college students taking part in exciting outdoor sports and the
thrilling advertising kept the brand alive in my heart.
In
this particular example the group is out for a ski trip, which seemed
to be the default activity for the yuppie youth of the 80's. How many
sitcom scenarios can you remember where the goal was to earn money for a
ski trip, getting caught on a snowy road after sneaking out for a ski
trip or wacky physical comedy with skis and poles? It was a national
obsession! Of course in the 90's it switched to EXTREME snowboarding,
but brightly colored snow suits were so much more memorable.
Kool-Aid
Kool-Aid
This
commercial really shows off the "everything but the kitchen sink"
attitude advertisers used to get children's attention back in the day.
You get a man in a gorilla suits showing off his Kool-Aid guts,
Claymation Kool-Aid men bouncing around a kitchen table and the big guy
even lets a little girl steal his wall crashing "Oh Yeah" routine. The classic
imagery of drawing the Kool-Aid Man face with the condensation on a
glass pitcher really hits the nostalgia button. I remember the day I
decided to try it for myself and put my Mom through the ringer.
First
of all, I was adamant that the pitcher had to be the same shape as the
one on the commercial, which led to several minutes of digging through our
cupboards. Then I kept demanding, "More ice!" as the condensation wasn't
forming fast enough in my impatient young mind. When I finally carved
the face in the thin layer of water with my finger I was saddened to
find that Kool-Aid man's features were barely visible and quickly faded
away. Ah well, at least I tried.
Oreos Disneyland Sweepstakes
Oreos Disneyland Sweepstakes
Commercials
from Nabisco were always a big tease to me, since the only way I ever
got to enjoy store bought cookies was when I visited a friend's house
after school. But this particular ad has a special place in my heart
because it led to the one and only time my Mom agreed to let Oreos into
our house. I convinced her that it wasn't so much about the chocolate
cookies with questionable cream filling, but our chance to win big from
The Walt Disney Company.
I
specifically remember the excitement of twisting the top off of that
fake Oreo game piece and the subsequent disappointment when "The Mouse"
failed to fulfill my fantasy of a free trip to Disneyland. Looking back
now, I find it very interesting that the animated Mickey model they used
is based on the Electronic Talking Mickey Mouse toy (Disney's answer to
Teddy Ruxpin) and that the doll even appears in the commercial to show
off the mugs or watches all the "losers" could receive as a consolation
prize. Talk about synergy!
That's it for this
look back at the best retro TV commercials. Which of these ads do you
remember? You can subscribe to my YouTube page here for many, many more
of these 80's time capsules. You can also follow me on Twitter
@hojukoolander where I regularly tweet out an announcement of the latest
batch of retro videos from my archives.
pikachulover Posted on Apr 01, 2017 at 04:48 AM
I happened to find your channel a few days ago by chance. I was looking for local LA stuff on youtube. I usually just put station call letters in to youtube's search function and see what comes up.
KTTV used to air Kideo TV so early on Saturday mornings.
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