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Fright Night - A Retro Narrative

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These Beverages Need to Join the ReSurgence

By: MikeCovers

Nostalgia buffs are salivating at last week's news about Surge coming back. It took little more than an Internet campaign and Coca-Cola's desire to make some extra money by selling a 1990s drink at 21st century prices.

With hope, this trend of breathing new life into yesterday's beverages is just getting started. Since I never drank Surge myself yet still want to revel in the excitement that a long-discontinued product is on its way back to my innards, here are three beverages that are long, LONG overdue for a return to store shelves. Even if only temporarily.

Let's face it: part of the reason we are all so desperate to see the long-rumored Ghostbusters 3 come to fruition is because it will likely see a return of Ecto Cooler as part of the marketing. In fact, if Sony announced that there wouldn't even be a movie but that there would be Ecto Cooler, you wouldn't see a whole lot of complaining.

Possessing a wonderful color and taste that no one has ever before--or since--seen in nature, Ecto Cooler satisfies the dual craving of thirst and nostalgia. Slimer was of course the scene-stealer in both movies and the animated series (would the cartoon have lasted as long if it was titled, for example, Winston and the Real Ghostbusters?), so it was only natural that he served as the drink's spokes-ghost.

After the popularity of Ghostbusters died down, Ecto Cooler itself eventually vanished from store shelves. It was briefly rebranded Shoutin' Orange Tangergreen (yet still appeared as Ecto Cooler on store receipts) and then again as Crazy Citrus Cooler before the flavor was completely retired in 2009.

Kids born in the 1970s and 1980s will forever link Van Halen's song "Right Now" with this crystal clear concoction from Pepsi that was released in the early 1990s. Sure, it was the company's way of saying "Here's Sprite that is sort of Pepsi flavored," but when you are an 11-year-old soda connoisseur with few friends, this was all you needed to make your life worth living.

Pepsi's various forays into variations that did not have "Wild Cherry" in the title haven't been entirely successful. Who remembers Pepsi Kona, the coffee-flavored cola? Pepsi Twist? Pepsi Blue?

NONE of those varieties (not even Pepsi Blue) have had as much of a demand by Pepsi fans to see a re-introduction to soda society.

And, let's face it, Van Halen could use the boost in popularity again.

Way, WAY before the myriad of energy drinks, the only non-coffee, non-cocaine option we had to stay awake and (somewhat) alert for hours on end was Jolt Cola.

Jolt looked like any other soda, but tasted like roofing tar. But, of course, no one was drinking it for the taste; they were drinking it for its unparalleled caffeine content, a formula that made Pepsi and Mountain Dew seem about as effective as NyQuil.

Red Bull, Monster, and their ilk have been known to cause everything from heart problems to lame dudebro promotions. Jolt never had time for that.

Once beverages like Ecto Cooler, Crystal Pepsi, and Jolt reappear, then maybe we can start petitioning companies to return more products to the American public for overpriced consumption. Burger King's original chicken tenders! Canned La Choy fried rice! Unfiltered cigarettes!

It'll be a surge of nostalgia.

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pikachulover Posted on Sep 20, 2014 at 01:40 AM

I liked Crystal Pepsi. I really miss Fruitopia a lot. I miss 5th Avenue Seltzer too. Snapple isn't as good as it used to be. There aren't as many varieties as there used to be in the 90s.

My cousins use to drink Jolt when they worked as scare actors. I've never tried it. I prefer Mt Dew.

Hoju Koolander Posted on Sep 19, 2014 at 10:27 PM

Ha, I totally remember that Crystal Gravy parody commercial on SNL Vaporman. So wrong, but so hilarious.

One of the few variation I tried back in the day was the Caffein Free version of Crystal Pepsi, because I wasn't allowed to have actual cola. It was pretty unique, but I wouldn't say good.

Vaporman87 Posted on Sep 19, 2014 at 02:42 PM

Uhg. Jolt! Terrible stuff. Still, I have a feeling those of us who remember it would by a 12 pack of it just for the heck of it.

Now Ecto-Cooler on the other hand, I could see it having staying power IF they kept the Slimer/Ecto-Cooler branding. People having been clamoring for it for years (None moreso than Matt at DinoDrac - I think he might actually cry if they ever brought it back).

Crystal Pepsi was cool, but like you said... it was basically Pepsi with no color. Nothing to write home about, but a neat gimmick for it's time. I am reminded of SNL's parody of the Crystal Pepsi schtick when they did the commercial for "Clear Gravy". LOL. Something about that was so gross... and just wrong.

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