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Stupid Childhood Games Remembered

By: raptor

It doesn't take an awful lot to entertain a kid when they live in a rural area and they don't have a whole heckuva lot to their name.


Sure, there were video games and board games and sports and other recreation. But sometimes those things just run out of value, and you find yourself enjoying the simple pleasure of hitting each other for no good reason.


And so I have decided to present you all with 5 of these simple and incredibly stupid pleasures.




You're probably already aware of the rules for this one. Just not OUR rules. You see my friends and I would put little variations on this game. These would sometimes be pretty violent changes. For example we would allow the person doing the picking to run around the other direction and tackle the the person who got chosen right to the ground and keep their position with the others sitting down. But I would usually be agile enough to avoid the person trying to tackle me. It made the game alot more fun and painful.


Another way to play this one is to let each person sitting have a weapon of some kind, like a nerf gun or water gun or some other such thing and attempt to use it to make them trip or be confused enough to catch them before they got back to your seat.

Smear The Queer



Alright, before you get all up in the air over my lack of political correctness let me just say that we attached no value to the name and never thought that smearing all homosexuals was a nice thing. The name was just what it was always called. Nothing more than that.


Anyway, this is a pretty simple game. Whoever is holding the ball or whatever else was used, gets blasted by everyone else. We would usually add a timer to the mix. So, whoever could hold on to the thing longest before being brought down to the ground or losing it would be champion.


I ended up with lots of bruises and grass stains from this game, but it sure did get your adreneline going. Seeing 5 other kids some of which were bigger than you all rushing to take you down makes things very interesting, whether you are gay or not.


Indian Leg Wrestling



Okay, just so you know, this is a real sport. Seriously. But besides that, this game was just as fun as it was stupid.


Most people made the point of the game to bring your leg into a straight down position against the force of your opponent. But that's boring. It was much more entertaining to make the point of the game to be the guy who made your opponent roll up into a ball and pop his leg out of socket. Or at least leave a tender red place on the back of his knee. Ahhh the memories.


It seems odd doesn't it? Kinda like arm wrestling only with legs. But in arm wrestling the strength of your arm comes more into play than the strength of your leg in this game. Here, if you are fat enough you can win every time. How would you like to leg wrestle this pro?



Made Ya Flinch! 



Maybe you're not familiar with the "game" aspect of doing this. Let me explain. While it is very funny to pretend to punch someone square in the face and then make everlasting fun of them for having perfectly natural reflexes, it is made even more fun when you make the punishment an ACTUAL punch. Not in the face, but usually on the upper part of your arm. And, with a protruding middle knuckle to add that extra pain.


This was not just popular with me and my buds. This was something that everyone in my school had fun with. It was a nice bully tactic (not that I was a bully, but some bullies used this religiously). It's really, really stupid. Perfect for use by bullies.


Staring Contest



I realize this a much less violent game than all the previous ones I have mentioned, but I figured I should add just one that doesn't involve blood, bruises, broken limbs, and so on.


The point is of course to be the guy who stares at his opponent the longest without blinking, looking away, and all that. We would usually add some other value to losing, like saying that whoever loses is a... well... see one of the previous game titles for the label we stuck to the loser most often.


Or, you could have your friends doing everything humanly possible to make the opponents look away or blink, without actually touching them physically. Throwing things in their line of sight is a good one. Especially if the things you are throwing are something fragile that belongs to one of them.


Well, I'll leave you with that. Hope you enjoyed this little adventure into stupid childhood games, and my little twists on them. Peace!

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Vaporman87 Posted on Mar 23, 2013 at 05:30 AM

As violent as raptor and his friends made some of these mostly innocent games, I wouldn't be surprised to learn they had modified Marco Polo by having the "blinded" player armed with a brick to throw whenever the others responded to his/her call.

Fulton4V Posted on Mar 22, 2013 at 05:24 PM

Some of these are fun games by not the flinching and tackling. Some games we played were made up by us like hide and seek but not with people, you hid an object and it made noise and the seeker had to find it.
We had contests for jumping or other things and would make medals for each of us to try to win

AceNThaHole Posted on Mar 22, 2013 at 04:24 AM

We would sometimes play a red light green light, Simon says, and the game where you guess what color the next vehicle was going to be. If we wanted to be violent we would just play tackle football!

Vaporman87 Posted on Mar 21, 2013 at 12:55 AM

I remember all of these games. Some were played more than others in my circle of friends.

Probably the most played of these games was the staring contest, since it did not require violence or much physical prowess.

By the way, the Chuck Norris clip is HILARIOUS!

Great read, raptor. Thanks for this!

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