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Disappointing video game revisits

Some of the most remembered games from our childhood can either be fun to come back to, or it just doesn't have the same taste that you thought it did back in the day. So when the time comes to be an adult you'll never know which it will be until you try them again. Here I'll be mentioning some of the least memorable games I came back to in recent years.....




1. Sonic 3D Blast (1996)


One of the last swan song games of the Sega Genesis ended the system's life with more of a poof than a bang. Back then it was a bit mind-blowing to see Sonic finally having a 3D pre-rendered sprite, but let's be honest, does Sonic really fit in an isometric game, even one that requires platforming? To make matters worse, the Sega Saturn version had this gimmick with certain zones, like Rusty Ruin having a weather/fog effect in the levels, making it harder to see what you're doing and less likely you'd see an enemy that's about to attack you.


2. Mario Kart 64 (1997)


I'm likely to be in the minority for saying this, but the steering in Mario Kart 64 just hasn't aged well for me. Compared to later entries, the turning just seems very floaty and pulling off those extra boosts during a turn can prove to be either a challenge or frustrating to pull off. The tracks in the game still look fairly polished for the hardware, but it's hard to enjoy them when the controls create such a  hindrance to the fun of going through each course. The battle mode at least feels a bit more refreshing, and to be honest I consider this more as a party game, than a racing game.


3. Toxic Crusaders (1993)


Not realizing this was based on a cartoon based on an R rated movie, Toxic Crusaders' beat 'em up gameplay mixed with colorful visuals kept me coming back, even if I wasn't good at it. You could man choppers that enemies would pilot, and even have a second player. So why don't I like it today? Because it's one of the hardest if not THE hardest beat 'em up I've played. You can constantly get knocked around, and it has some of the worst level hazards in a beat 'em up in general. How do you like trying to make it over a very narrow bridge of water while enemies attempt to knock you into the drink?


4. Rocko's Modern Life - Spunky's Dangerous Day (1994)


Licensed games based on cartoons and other media have typically been dreaded among gamers, but back then I didn't really know better. So to see a beloved Nicktoon showing up in a game fascinated me. The concept sounds simple; control Rocko and guide Spunky away from danger. See, escort levels can be good idea for a game, as long as it's just one or two levels. Having the game revolve around it for every level can get boring and pretty nerve wracking.


5. Croc: Legend of the Gobbos (1997)


Bringing a 3D platformer to the kid demographic typically has to have colorful graphics, upbeat music and tight controls to keep them entertained enough to play. Croc did offer the first two, but the controls are another story. Remember how in Super Mario 64 you could get Mario to change direction with ease, even while walking? In Croc, you have take controls. So if you've misjudged your alignment with jumping from one platform to another you have to back up manually to face the direction you need to and it can get pretty tedious at times. It may sound like a minor problem, but it becomes a glaring issue later on.


6. Taz-Mania (1992)


Back in the 90s it was great to see Taz make a brief comeback in his own TV show of the same name, and it was a surprise to see a game based off of it. It allowed you to spin around as the fuzzy and maniacal character. But I just don't have a sense of fun when I can't have much freedom to spin when there are all sorts of level hazards slowing me down, or potentially making me lose a life on impact. Upward water spouts that can lead to getting crushed on a ceiling, a minecart level that requires memorizing to avoid a crashing death, and log jumping with foreground and background changes made for a frustrating experience to come back to.


Some of these you may not agree with, but what are your thoughts, reader? Drop a comment and and I'll see you next article!
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Hoju Koolander Posted on Nov 30, 2018 at 02:37 AM

Too bad Toxic Crusaders doesn't hold up in terms of satisfying gameplay, I loved the action figures and cartoon as a kid. I guess all the tie-ins can't be winners.

Benjanime Posted on Nov 27, 2018 at 08:20 PM

i can still play super mario kart just fine, it's just with mario kart 64 that the turning really feels like you're sliding on ice and it's hard for me to master now.

Vaporman87 Posted on Nov 27, 2018 at 06:37 PM

The original Mario Kart was an absolute blast to play, especially with friends, but I can see how it would likely be nothing but frustrating now. Control schemes and controllers themselves have advanced to the point that attempting to readjust to the N64 controller might seem impossible. Same goes for Goldeneye.

Benjanime Posted on Nov 26, 2018 at 11:56 PM

Whoops, minor spelling error: I meant to say "tank" instead of "take controls" for Croc: Legend of the Gobbos.

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