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Forgotten Christmas: Phroomf
The holidays are upon us and as happens every year classic
characters like Rudolph, Frosty and Phroomf are coming out of the woodwork to
get their slice of the fame pie. No, my cat didn’t walk across the keyboard, I
100% intended to string the letters P-H-R-O-O-M and F together in order to
spark a Christmas memory for you. Did it work? No, it’s not the sound that
Santa makes when he lands at the bottom of our chimneys, it’s the name of his
tiniest and most forgotten elf. He even has his own theme song, just click here
to listen. Still nothing, huh? Well, then let me introduce you to one of the
most unique and sadly forgotten Christmas tales of the past 50 years.
I first became aware of Phroomf in 1986 when commercials
started airing on TV advertising the book and tape combo. What may strike you
as odd is that the pitchman advertising this Christmas tale in what appears to
the locker room of Major League Baseball’s Anaheim Angels. I suppose Angels do
play an integral part of the Nativity story, but veteran catcher Bob Boone
bears very little resemblance to any iconic figure from Christmas lore that
I’ve ever seen. He’s not even wearing a Santa hat! According the Bob, Phroomf
(or “frumf” as he calls him) could be found in our local malls or department
stores, but apparently not in great supply, as copies of this book go for $40 to $70 on the secondary market these days.
It wasn’t just the book either, there was a plush doll
complete with knapsack to tie around your knee, which I will shortly explain. The
fact that a California baseball player is shilling for this attempt to dethrone
the The Elf On The Shelf, makes me think that Phroomf might have been a regional
campaign for the Southern California market. But if any of this is starting to
ring a bell, please let me know in the comments. You can watch the full commercial
for yourself at the 25min 49 sec mark of this 80's retro-commercial megamix by just clicking here. So
how did I become aware of this oddly named creature? Well…
I don’t believe I owned the doll, but I definitely had the
storybook and cassette in my possession around age 4 or 5, most likely
purchased to keep me quiet on a trip to JC Penney or Mervyn’s. I distinctly
remember sitting in the car listening to the song while my Mom ran an errand at
the bank (don’t judge her too harshly, I begged to be left in the car with the radio on
throughout my childhood). What struck me most about this little guy was his
outfit, he is obviously some kind of super hero with his blue cape, red spandex
unitard and yellow gloves. If Phroomf had been your standard curly-shoed elf with
striped tights, I never would have given him a second glance, no matter how
catchy that song is. So what is Phroomf exactly? I’ve held you in suspense long
enough, let’s dive into the story.
As the story begins a star explodes with a “thunderous BOOM”
and a strangely attired pixie pops through the resulting rift in time and space
with a “rumbling ZOOM”! Pretty exciting start, huh? As he hurtles down into the
upper atmosphere of the Earth, the sun and moon are sad to realize he’s
probably going to die on impact. Luckily the little guy lands in a snow bank at
the North Pole and is rescued by Santa Claus with some elves in tow. Despite
how ominous the 2 bottom pages look side by side, Santa and his crew have no
intention of boiling Phroomf into a delicious pixie stew, their just warming
the little guy up with some delicious broth.
Phroomf then reveals he is an alien from the planet
Fifinfafal (again, not a typo) which is located next to a star, so it may
actually be a pocket universe of some sort. Anyhoo, Phroomf tells Santa he is
worried about being stepped on or kicked like a ball since he is “just 8 inches
high”. Not that the Elves are that much bigger than Phroomf, but given the immediate
favor the lil’ critter has with the man in red, he might suspect some jealous
retaliation. So what is the obvious solution? Why attach the little guy to
Santa’s knee of course!
You see, as Phroomf was falling to the Earth, Santa took a
very Home Alone style spill down the front steps and ripped a hole in his pants
near the knee. Personally I suspect foul play by the redhead elf, who may have
been the inheritor of the Claus estate should Kris Kringle pass away, but
that’s besides the point. Santa decides to sew a pouch in the spot and carry
Phroomf with him everywhere he goes. Not only does he get a free ride, the
portable pixie is tasked with maintaining Santa’s recipients list for his
annual Christmas gift delivery marathon. That’s a pretty big promotion for an
interdimensional imp that just showed up 5 minutes ago, but since Santa’s
biggest talent is judging the character of the world’s inhabitants, I guess we
can trust his decision.
So now we have a better understanding of why Bob Boone
suggested we attach a stuffed animal to our knees at the end of his commercial.
With the wear and tear MLB players put on their bodies you might have thought
it was just a festive ice pack, but no, Bob is simply following the trend set
by Santa in a storybook that very few people ever read. I can only assume that the
80’s hair metal trend of tying a bandana just above the knee of your
jeans was Phroomf inspired. I think it’s
also worth mentioning that there was obviously a miscommunication with the
factory that produced the dolls, since that thing is much larger than 8 inches
high. That or Bob Boone was more tied to Christmas than I thought, being the
first elf to play in the major leagues.
I’m so glad I was able to share the legend of Phroomf with
you this Christmas. I really find it to be one of the most fun and fresh
stories for the holiday season, adding some cool sci-fi elements to the Santa
Claus mythos. I don’t know why it didn’t catch on, unless people rebelled
against the blatant attempt to manufacture a Christmas icon. But the copyright
on the book gives a year of 1954, so the character/song has been around almost
as long as Frosty, The Snowman who was created in 1950 for a song sung by Gene Autry. The
Story of Phroomf even came with sheet music so you could sing the song by the
fire after finishing a chorus of Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer, so what
gives? Who was suppressing Phroomf for 30 years? I smell a Christmas
Conspiracy!
Phroomf is definitely worthy of your Christmas love, so I
invite you to buy the book on eBay if you can afford a copy or check out a
digital version from openlibrary.org this holiday season. It will become a cherished tradition for years to come.
G2gigi177 Posted on Nov 18, 2019 at 02:23 AM
We sing the song every year for a family carol. We've lived in Chicago for most of our lives with a few relatives in Texas. We never knew about the doll just the song with his name that admittedly we mispronounced. Im only 25 but my father and his family have been singing this song for years before me. So glad I could find this page.
pikachulover Posted on Jan 09, 2015 at 04:56 AM
To be honest I never really played with the Phroomf much.
Hoju Koolander Posted on Jan 08, 2015 at 11:11 PM
@pikachulover Sweet Christmas! And he still looks so new! He must be surrounded by Christmas magic from his time with Santa. Thanks for sharing.
Vaporman87 Posted on Jan 06, 2015 at 04:29 PM
Well what do you know? pikachulover has a Phroomf! That pretty well cements this as being a West Coast phenomenon. One that I wish East Coasters would have had the privilege of enjoying! >:(
pikachulover Posted on Jan 06, 2015 at 08:21 AM
Look who I dug out of my storage space!? His tag says 1986 on it.
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y235/pikapal/costume032_zpsa143c9b5.jpg
shakin steak Posted on Jan 05, 2015 at 07:05 PM
Well, I'm an eastcoaster and I've definitely never heard of this.
Hoju Koolander Posted on Dec 23, 2014 at 11:38 PM
@Vaporman87 That Elf idea is awesome. My 4th grade teacher did a similar thing with Leprechauns during St. Patrick's Day and I loved it.
@pikachulover Wow, you had the whole shebang, that's awesome! I think my regional theory is right, because you're another California kid who also owned the book and tape. We'll see if any Midwest or East Coast commenters can shed some light Phroomf's national exposure.
pikachulover Posted on Dec 23, 2014 at 09:24 PM
Believe it or not I have a copy of this too. My neighbor gave a copy of the book and tape. She game me the doll and the pocket too. My birthday is a little after Christmas, so she usually gave me Christmas things for my birthday. I forgot what year I got Phroomph. I don't remember the commercial.
Vaporman87 Posted on Dec 23, 2014 at 07:48 PM
Wow! With the popularity of "Elf on the Shelf" these days, I would think Phroomf would be ready for a comeback. The ad campaign could tout it's roots in the heyday of Christmas lore creation, and it's pre-dating of Elf on the Shelf by decades.
Personally, my wife and I began a tradition a few years ago where 3 stuffed elves (one per kid) starts doing ornery things at night. Last night, the elves brought in a case of Funko TMNT figures and Funko Disney figures and tried to open a few of them before the kids found them doing so. It was cute.
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