This article started out about me wanting to write about my costume preferences. Then it just went off in a totally different direction. I started analyzing what my choices were really saying about me.

I want to give a little background about myself. I don't consider myself ultra feminine or anything like that. I prefer wearing jeans and eating steaks over dresses and salads any day. But that is not to say I don't like all things girly. I love dolls and stuffed animals! I like Hello Kitty and My Melody I even have a Hello Kitty bed comforter, but I don't need to prove my kawaii cred. Let’s just say love for kawaii things may possibly border on scary to some people.

This is only about what I like and want to wear. I’m not going to tell anybody else what they can and can't wear for Halloween.

I decided to do a little research for writing this article, and see how my feelings stacked up to other people's feelings on sexy Halloween costumes. According to what I read, the women who don't normally dress sexy, but only do on Halloween, are trying to get attention. But are sexy costumes the only way to get attention? Personally I think scary costumes on anybody can be attention grabbing.

I know there are some people out there who say no woman should wear these costumes. I think if you are an adult then go ahead. I think if you are a teenager like say 14 that should be taken up with your parents or whoever, and what they think is appropriate. I’m not gonna go out and give parenting advice because I'm not a parent.

Supposedly women are supposed to, or claim they feel, empowered wearing sexy costumes. If you want to wear one of these costumes more power to you?

I don't know, to me they just seem so bland. They are all the same style of dress they are just in different color schemes and patterns.

I'll admit they are not for me. I'm "out there". I prefer modesty. I'd feel much more comfortable in a baggy robe than a crop top and micro mini skirt.

_{This is more my style.}

_{You probably aren't gonna see me in a costume like this. Sorry!}

I personally have no problem with gender bending a costume to get it to work for me. I don't understand why it's taboo for women to dress in costumes that are traditionally for men? Especially the scary ones. And I don't mean the sexy versions either.

I don’t feel or consider myself sexy. If I really wanted to intimidate somebody I'd rather use my mind than my body. I'm more conceited about my intelligence than my body and/or good looks. If somebody told me they thought I was stupid that would hurt more than being told I was ugly.

Halloween is about revealing a hidden aspect of your personality. If I am revealing a hidden aspect of my personality then I would be a monster, or maybe the freak? Ugly, misunderstood. I think I'm ugly, but benevolent most of the time. Personally I don't think I'm scary looking. Like most people I would just like to be accepted and liked. I just wish that people would look beyond my lack of attractiveness, and realize that there is a person with feelings there. I would say I think I'm more goofy looking than ugly. 

I'm not all goody-goody and straight laced all the time. I realized that last paragraph made me look like a wimp. I do have a rebellious side. Even if it occasionally comes out. Sometimes I can have a bad attitude. I can be sassy at times, but substitute a more colorful word for "sassy". I feel I can get away with being ugly on Halloween. Even if it is nothing more than my looks or my attitude or both. 

I don't want to look ugly all the time. Once in a while just to put the scary costumes aside and dress as something not sexy, but pretty; just to look and feel…pretty. A costume festooned with ribbons, bows, and lace. So much it could suffocate you. So much frill it’s intimidating. Something like a throwback to the frilly fancy dresses I wore as a little girl, but fancier. A skirt so poufy I might not be able to fit in a doorway.

_{My bunny costume design. It's based off a real dress I wore as a girl. I'll be lookin’ so kawaii!}

After I thought about it, I realized what those kawaii costumes represented. It was the old high school me. Aside from being the school's eccentric resident No Doubt and Pokemon fan. I was a huge goody-two shoes. I was polite, didn't curse, and got good grades (mostly) and the other students resented me for it. These costumes represent the goody-two shoes side of me. It would also represent my childishness, and all it encompasses. My imaginativeness, whimsy, immaturity, stubbornness, and impenitence.... I think? Either that or I just wanna look cute.

Why not combine my ideas and make a kawaii ghoul!? I love combination costumes!

_{My good clown costume design.}

Clowns. I've had strange fascination with them ever since I was a kid. I don't know why. When I was like seven I used to fantasize about running away with the circus and becoming a clown, and then developing some type of act involving small dogs. I think part of me still wants to be a real clown, but not a hospital clown. Those sick kids would make me break down in tears. Like the kind that takes bookings for birthday parties and stuff like that. I like to think I'm funny, or hope I am. While the dormant comedian that is hiding inside me is waiting to be released.

I like that clowns can be good or evil, and I have no problem dressing as a good clown or an evil clown for Halloween.

There is some underlying fear. Well Halloween is about fear even if the thing you are afraid of is more of a hypothetical neurotic scenario. That I make a costume that is deemed so horrible it ends up on one of those incredibly horrible costume websites. Then I would get really embarrassed when I find myself on there. Forever immortalized on the internet for my horrible costume.

Or this other strange scenario where I meet somebody I don't know who has never seen me out of the costume. They are really impressed by the costume then I take off my mask or makeup and the person saw what I really looked like and gasped at what they saw and said something like “That’s what you looked like under that!? You looked better before!”

Well there it is for everybody who reads this to know a little bit more about me and my costume choices, and what I may or may not be trying to say with them.