Announcer: It’s an all new Toy Talk with Miss M! Today’s episode is a special reunion show gathering the greatest villainous minds of the 90’s: The Evil Space Aliens! And now, give a round of applause to your hostess, Miss M!!

The live audience screams for Miss M as she stumbles out onto the main stage.

 

Miss M: Hi everyone! I nearly fell. My feet are really small and my head is really big, so I get top-heavy. How are you all doing? I’ve got a great show planned for you today. Toy Talk gets to sit down with some of the Evil Space Aliens. You may remember them from the hit 90’s show based off of their evil exploits. They dominated television screens across the world and competed in some tough competition in the toy aisle, but it is the backstage antics that really riled up the masses. I want to introduce our first guest. He single handedly made gold a commodity once again and reminded us that being an overconfident warrior of strange species is really the only way to rule the world. Ladies and gents, welcome: Goldar!

 

Goldar steps out to a sea of screaming fanboys and girls.

 

Miss M: How nice to see you. Please, sit and catch up. Are your wings in the way?

Goldar: My wings are never in the way.

Miss M: Tell us what you have been up to since fading away into the lime light off your rockin’ fame as part of the Evil Space Aliens?

 

Goldar: (snarls in a kind way) I went to business school Miss M. Having been referred to as a bumbling fool by my superiors (coughs) Rita Repulsa (coughs) one too many times, I knew the time was right to give up being an Evil Space Alien and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. So I did. I finished Business School at the top of my class and eventually opened a chain of We Buy Gold stores as seen on TV. I’m worth my weight in gold!

Miss M: That’s so wonderful Goldar! I am proud of you. Well, I think it is time to bring out our next guest so we can continue this reunion special! A self professed distant cousin to Mer-Man, this next guest tried his best to defeat the Power Rangers, but it just was not in his grasp. Welcome the Slippery Shark!

 

Slippery Shark walks out, nearly slipping on the stage floor to his seat.

 

Slippery Shark: (gurgles) I need some water.

Miss M: (calls out to crew) Can we get this guy some water please?

Moments later…

 

Slippery Shark: (in the middle of recounting his life story) As a child my role model was Jaws. Now that’s a villain to fear. I was even scared to go into the water! When we met years later at a con, I knew I had the one chance in a lifetime to find out the secret to becoming a supreme villain.

Miss M: Did those tips work?

 

Slippery Shark: No. I was defeated the next day by the Megazord. Rita, my boss at the time, completely fired me. I ended up at Sea World.

 

Miss M: That’s so sad.

Slippery Shark: But I’ve rebounded. I tried my fin at dating. I went on a blind date with this mist-i-fying mermaid on Etheria once.

Miss M: Well, all right. Sounds fascinating, but we really need to talk to our next guest! He credits Cecil’s Dark Knight from Final Fantasy IV for his true inspiration and he makes one big birthday surprise, let’s get hacked ‘n slashed for Knasty Knight!

 

Knasty Knight walks out in charge, ready to fight! Instead of sitting, he simply stands on the couch.

Miss M: How does it feel to be a part of a movement that has spanned a couple of decades already?

 

Knasty Knight: (in a deep gloomy voice) In a word, everything. You aren’t truly famous until you’ve been defeated by Megazord. I send a birthday present to Zack every year in thanks. (whispers in a deep gloomy voice) He returns them.

Miss M: Your other cast mates tell me that you have become a classically trained actor.

 

Knasty Knight: I have. After breaking away from Rita Repulsa’s crew, I branched out into the classics. I perform in Shakespeare in the Park across various parks in the world.     

Miss M: Wow! Do you have a favorite Shakespeare character to play?

 

Knasty Knight: Hamlet of course. Isn’t that what every serious actor says?

Miss M: I have no idea, but it is time to get very serious about our next guest. He has conquered various areas of space and is dubbed the Emperor of Evil! No, I’m not talking about Hordak, but instead Lord Zedd!

 

Lord Zedd walks out looking to see who he can conquer.

Miss M: My how ferocious you look. Do your exposed muscles hurt?

Lord Zedd: Never. This is a body of pure evil, an instrument used to conquer the universe!

 

Miss M: Ya know I have met a few folks who have tried to conquer the universe. Do you ever cross paths with Hordak or Emperor Palpatine?

Lord Zedd: No, I can’t say that I have ever met them, though space is a rather large… space.

Miss M: You’ve mentioned in other interviews that you get mistaken for a certain super hero celebrity, can you elaborate?

Lord Zedd: I am quite often mistaken for Cyclops from the X-Men.

 

Miss M: (looks dubious) You get confused for Cyclops?

Lord Zedd: Yes, I do. Can’t you see it?

Miss M: Umm. Sure. So… Tell me about your marriage. How is Rita Repulsa doing, and your son Thrax?

 

Lord Zedd: I am repulsed that you would even ask me about my wife. Rita and I… (chokes up) Rita and I are going through a divorce. She has always hated that I have been gone for long periods of time conquering various corners of space. My son hates me. Rita and I built an empire for him. The success of the Evil Space Aliens show created a nest egg for Thrax. He never has to worry about a thing, but he is so embarrassed that his parents were on a hit 90’s TV show. He thinks we are relics from a forgotten time. I don’t even know what that means!

Miss M: I’m so sorry to hear that. Well I think we should bring everyone back out. I want to hear more about the in-fighting between the other Evil Space Aliens.

 

Everyone returns and the tension is very high in the room.

 

Slippery Shark: (gurgles) Why have we all been brought back together?

 

Knasty Knight: Yes, I was told that I would only be participating in a one on one interview. I don’t want to see these other clowns.

 

Goldar: Speak for yourself, Mr. Shakespeare in the Park.

 

Lord Zedd: (sobs in a corner) I just miss my wife. Oh Rita. I miss you so.

 

Miss M: I don’t mean for this to be a surprise, but I brought you all here together because there is a surprise guest that wants to see you all. Come on out Rita!

 

Rita Repulsa walks out screaming and being obnoxious.

Knasty Knight: What dastardly twisted plot is this?

Miss M: I can’t do a reunion show without the one and only Rita. Go ahead Rita, read them for filth!

 

Rita: I’ve been listening backstage, and I find this all to be a disaster! How this show is even on the air is tragic.

 

Rita walks towards Slippery Fish.

 

Rita: I’ll start with you. I’ve always hated the smell of fish. When Finster created you I knew he screwed up. (Slippery Shark can only gurgle)

 

Rita turns to Knasty Knight.

 

Rita: And you! Shakespeare in the Park? Could you be any more annoying? You couldn’t act your way out of a paper bag, let alone follow one of my simple tasks to destroy the Power Rangers! Tell the truth Knasty Knight. You don’t act in the park. You live in the park! (Knasty Knight can only gasp)

 

Turning swiftly towards Goldar, before he can leave, Rita sneers.

 

Rita: I had so much promise for you Goldar. You were my original warrior, but you were just so dumb! A simpleton! And now look at you, tarnished as the day is long. (whispers to the side) I do have some gold though that I’d like to trade in for cash. Give me a good deal, ok?

 

Finally Rita approaches her last mark.

 

Rita: You have broken us! (her lip trembles before going into a shriek) How dare you. Oh how dare you. I wanted my career to mean something. I was this close to finally ruining the Power Rangers. I was going to make it happen, and then you crashed in during Season 2 and relegated me to the sidelines. I was denied! You denied me. And then you married me. Well I have some news for you, for all of you. I’m returning in a big way. I’m formulating my own new band of Evil Space Aliens and I’m finally going to get it right! The Power Rangers will be destroyed from now on! Rita Repulsa is the new supreme!

 

Miss M: (looks towards camera man) This was not how the interview was supposed to go.

 

As the in-fighting ensues with the Evil Space Aliens, Miss M addresses her audience.

 

Miss M: That’s about all the time we have for today folks. As you can tell there seems to be a very valid reason why the Evil Space Aliens are no longer ruling the world of pop culture, but they are cool to look at. Right? Take care every one. On tomorrow’s show, join me as I talk with Punky Brewster on her personal melt down inside a grocery store and how she knew she had hit rock bottom. Until then!